This morning while tidying up my daughters room I found a piece of folded up paper. I was about to put it away when I got a feeling I should open it. I thought maybe it was a school paper she had neglected to give me for one reason or another. Inside it had a title "MY WISHES". The majority of the 10 wishes revolved around the idea she liked things the way they were before we moved to Louisiana. She liked her old friends, she wanted new friends, she wished we had never moved.
We explained when my husband took this job that we would have to move for his training and then when he was finished we would move again. For the last time. I was hoping that would help but it didn't. I feel awful. I don't know how to help her make new friends (she has one that she plays with on recess but that's it). She seems like she is just adrift and I don't know how to help her. When she comes home she goes to her room and watches t.v. or she plays on the computer till dinner. The same thing happens after we eat. She's only 9! Is this normal? Should this be happening already? I try to draw her out but she just says she's fine.
Then a few hours later I gave my son a apple and cinnamon Pop Tart. I guess it was still hot inside even after cutting it up and blowing on it because I hear this scream followed by crying. I ran to see what was wrong and he had his tongue out with the food still on it. I had him spit it into my hand and get a drink then he was ok again. I guess those fruit filled ones hold their heat a little longer than my brown sugar and cinnamon ones. Again, I felt awful.
My day has been swell so far. How's yours?
6 comments:
My stepdaughter is 9 and she's started being strange. As she's approaching 10, we've suggested cutting the weekends down to every 3 weeks (she lives 150 miles from us), and she has rejected this idea out of hand. We thought she would appreciate not having all the travelling which she hates. When she gets here all she wants to do is quietly watch DVD's or play computer games, which seems a bit bizarre as she's come all this way.
It sounds like both girls have had big upheavals, maybe the introvertedness is their way of keeping something constant in a world which has changed for them beyond their control?
You could have a get together will all the girls in her class...maybe take them all bowling. It could open your daughter up and it could allow the other girls to see her outside of school.
I don’t have any answers for you, but I just wanted to say I really get a lot out of reading your parenting stories because with Titso pregnant, people always say “Kids are great”, or “Kids are hell.” And your stories about being a parent have me seeing the exact same worries in my future.
Don't be so hard on yourself. All you can do is love your child. As long as she knows she has a mom who loves her, she will get through the hard times in life. This wont be the first or last of the hard times for her.
Sometimes people, especially kids, need a little more time to themselves to kind of think about stuff until they get it figured out/resolved to their satisfaction. Doesn't reflect poorly on your parenting skills. Girls are hard in the first place;) I think Trinity's idea of having a get together with the other girls was a GREAT one.
My kids have learned that when momma sets a plate of anything in front of them to spend at least 5 minutes just blowing it before even trying to eat it. Needless to say, we've almost had a couple of skinless tongues around here before!
My daughter will be 9 in june and she has moved many many times, and we will probably be moving to Texas this summer. My husband leaves tomorrow to work there with his parents to see how it goes. She has a hard time making friends, too. We just try to encourage her to be nice to people and play what they want to play, etc. With her she lacks social skills. She will adjust, esp if this move is permanent, imo.
good luck and yes, those evil poptarts are hot! warming them in the microwave for a few seconds works, and so does eating them cold.
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