Friday, September 22, 2006

Is this seat taken?

We had some more bus drama on Wednesday. My sweet baby girl got off the bus and I could see her face was very red. When she got within earshot I asked if she was ok and the water works started. Some of the kids were bullying her for her seat. The more I talked to her, I don't know how much actual "bullying" there was though. My girl is a sensitive creature so I can't say how bad it was in reality. I can tell you that to her it was bad enough to reduce her to tears. The bus driver DID move her to a new seat but I don't think that's the answer. That gives the naughty kids exactly what they want.

Initially the mama bear in me was making plans to call the bus driver. I had an urge to climb on the bus the next morning and give those kids what for. Then slowly as I continued to talk to my daughter, rational thought crept back in. As much as I want to come running to her aid, I have to let her try to fix this herself. I'm not always going to be able to make everything right for her. The real world doesn't operate that way. If she can't deal with people today they will eat her alive tomorrow. So for now I gave her some tips on handling these other kids, things to say and do, as well as what NOT to do. Yesterday there was no conflict I'm hoping that is the new trend. For now I just wait anxiously for the bus to see if it was a good day or a bad day.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you're handling it best by suggesting to her things to do and not to do, instead of going to her aid. You're right that the world doesn't work that way, and not only are you teaching her to be more of an adult by encouraging her to handle the situation on her own, you're teaching her that you'll be there for her and support her even if you don't fight all her battles for her. I hope it gets better for her, though.

Lucy Stern said...

I think you did right in helping her try to work thru this. Kids natually look for the weakest link to bully and as long as she lets them get away with it, they will bully her. I agree that she has to work this out on her own. If you get involved it would probably makes things worse. Let your daughter know that you love her and you are there for her, but she has to handle this on her own. This is a way to help her toughen up a bit and grow at the same time. Good luck!

Trinity13 said...

She def needs to handle this on her own...it will help her to handle the tougher situations she will face as she gets older. All we can do is pray!

Purring said...

Kids are SO mean to one another. We had a bathroom bully at our school and to this day she is still uber-bitchy.

Jay said...

That's so maddening. You're right, there will always be something else, but at the same time, it's heart breaking to see a kid crying.

Lorna said...

you're a GOOD mama---maybe even , Oh..... GREAT one.....

Rainypete said...

It's tough being aparent. Sometimes it's harder to do nothing more than offer advice and let them work out. I hope she manages it and I hope you survive. I was worried you'd be spending the rest of the school year on the bus.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with what bekah says - she's got to work it out for herself knowing you're there to support her. I hope the situation sorts itself out.