Back to the grind today. My handsome giant of a brother went home yesterday. I was so pleased to have him visit. I hadn't seen him in years. I only come up to his shoulder these days so I felt more like a little sister than his big sister. After lots of laughs and lots of food we loaded up his stuff to take him back to the airport. I sat in the back seat (there is no way he'd fit!) and fought off the tears the whole way there. After his check in I couldn't hold them back anymore. Once they started I couldn't control them they just kept on coming. My daughter jumped in and pushed between my brother and I to hug me. I guess she didn't like seeing me cry. My son's lip started trembling when he saw my tears and soon we were both blubbering messes. My brother kept shooting me big grins as he made his way through the security checkpoint. Kept mouthing the word "smile" at me. It didn't work.
Seeing him brought up so many different emotions in me. I was happy to see him. I felt guilty for not spending more time with him when he was younger. He was 3 when I moved out. A rocky relationship with his mother kept me from coming around more often. I felt jealous of the tight bond he and my dad share. I felt slighted when my dad called to talk to him while we were playing cards and didn't even ask to speak to me or his grand kids.. I just have to remember that my relationship with him is ONLY with him. It's not dependant on other family members. I love him. I miss him already.
7 comments:
At least with the technology today you can keep in touch, right? I think that helps with missing people... you don't feel quite so isolated from them.
Aww, I'm so glad you had a nice visit with your bro. It's really hard to eliminate the feelings you have about other people involved in the larger relationship but you have to in order to have a healthy relationship with your bro. I go through similar things with my siblings (my 3 sisters and I share the same dad and my 2 brothers are from my step father's previous marriage). I consider all my siblings my "real" siblings but there are always those "things" that you have in the back of your mind that you have to shove away in order to keep it simple and about you two, not everyone else. That's where family feuds start and lord knows we don't need any of those right?
Make sure you keep in touch with your bro and try to see each other more often from here on out. It's good for the soul and for both of you.
Sue- You are ABSOLUTELY right. I think I keep in better touch because of IM than I did before. It's so easy to multitask and still chat.
Funky-I'm with you he is my brother no half about it. It does rub you wrong though when you hear his mom being all lovey and it's not the way she was with you. Gotta get past it!
I'm glad you were able to spend some time with your brother. I've gone through similar things, I suppose. I haven't spoken to my mother (usually I call her maternal donor, but that's another story) in over 10 years, but I have recently been able to start up a relationship with my brothers (her two sons, a different father from mine.)
Smile OGO :)
I'm glad that you were able to spend some good quality time with your brother.....Email him, send him pictures, talk on the phone and keep in touch. Stay positive.
How did you get to be so wise?
I'm glad you had a lovely time with your brother.
Split and blended families are a minefield of horrible emotions. My father treated my two brothers (like you we don't do things by halves!) exactly like they were his own. I'm first to admit that no matter how hard I try I cannot love my stepdaughter in the same way I love my own daughter, the fact we got off to a rocky start did us no favours.
It's your father's loss that he didn't want to speak to you, you cherish that relationship with your gorgeous bro!
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