FIVE already?

We had been trying for years to have a baby. To give my husband an heir to carry on the family name. I can't tell you how many pregnancy tests I failed. Between my thyroid issue and PCOS things began to look bleak. I don't know how many times I got my hopes up, only to have them dashed. Friendships were strained. Even though I was happy for them I couldn't stand to see their pregnant bellies. I resented people with unwanted pregnancies. I judged whether people deserved to have children or not. It consumed me. There were times I convinced myself to give up. I'd think I was getting past those feelings, only to have that "scab" ripped off again.

Then I had the dream. In the dream I went to the doctor for a routine annual appointment. While in the stirrups the doctor peeked up at me and asked if I'd known that I was pregnant. "WHAT?" He then reaches in and pulls out a baby from my body. He holds him up and he is gorgeous. The baby is rather large and extremely well developed in my dream. He is able to sit up on his own and his smile is infectious. The doctor hands me a phone and I call CCB. I tell him that I just had a baby and that he should come to the hospital to see me.

I woke from that dream with a renewed desire. I KNEW I'd have a baby. The dream was so real to me. No. Not the part about him sitting on his own right after delivery. That's just weird. I can't fully explain the way it affected me. I was confident. I didn't know when, but I knew it would happen.

Here is where it gets really cool. A few months later I started noticing these strange pains in my tummy. I'd roll over and get this terrible sharp pain, sorta like a leg cramp. I'd have to quickly roll on to my back to ease the pain. After a week or so of this I decided to go to the doctor. I explained my symptoms to my doctor and he checked me out. "OGO I'd like you to take a pregnancy test." I laughed at him, but I did it anyway. I peed in the cup and returned to the exam room to wait with my husband. The nurse came in with the biggest most beautiful smile. With a giggle she told me that I was pregnant(I think she was as excited as we were). So while I didn't give birth to an unexpected baby, I did get the news when it was least expected. (Side note: The nurse was extra excited because, like me, she had Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome as well. It gave her hope.)

The pregnancy was uneventful. Other than 24 hour morning sickness things went well. Since I got to choose our daughters name CCB was in charge of choosing our sons name. He decided he should have his great grandfathers name as his middle name. (CCB and his grandfather were very close.) The OBGYN decided we should schedule a C-section since my first child was by C-section. He looked at his calendar and picked 2-23-04. We told people the day and time and started planning. A few days later CCB's mom called us and said that something had been nagging at her about that date. She looked it up and it turns out that it was CCB's grandfathers birthday. Our little miracle baby was to be born on his namesakes birthday.

2-23-04 came and we had a beautiful baby boy. Our life has been forever changed for the better. He is my snuggle buddy and no day is complete without our quota. He is mischievous and knows how to work the charm to get himself out of a bind. His flirting skills are well developed and it isn't unusual for him to work the girl at the fast food joint or to find some cute little girl to compliment. He's gonna be dangerous.

I can't believe my baby is five years old already. I look at his little face now and I can imagine what he'll look like years from now. He's growing by leaps and bounds no matter how hard I try to convince him to stop. He tells me that he'll still be able to sit on my lap while he's five but when he's six he probably won't be able to. I tell him we might just have to wait and see on that one. I don't think he will outgrow my lap for a long time yet.

Happy Birthday Boy! I love you like crazy!