I have seen a couple of people on TV lately advising us to get rid of the people in our lives that bring us down. On one level I believe that is good advice. If someone just drains me why should I keep them close? Right? On the other hand I have tried to do this a couple of times. In the end I feel guilty and let them back in. Usually to be disappointed that things go back to the way they were when I wanted them gone!
Whattaya think? SHOULD you ditch people who drain you emotionally? Bring you down? You are wise, I want to know your opinion.
5 comments:
That is a tough question. Sometimes I fear I might be sad enough to be the one dragging others down. I hate to give up on people of value that I have known a long time. I also see you as too generous and caring to let go unless they start to affect your family and then I see you telling them not to let the door hit them in the assumptions on the way out.
I'm always wary of these sweeping generalisations, and if you'll excuse me making another sweeping generalisation the answer usually lies somewhere in the middle.
There are some people you just can't kick out of your life, it boils down to the old maxim "you can choose your friends but not your family", but if you know deep down that these people dragging you down are bad news then I'd say stick to your guns and move on.
I think that emotional vampires are very needy people, and that God put me on this earth to balance things out. I have a few coping mechanisms---one of which is to say something like: Why don't we both take a vow of silence before I chew your ear off?
It's hard...also, depend who they are...if it's a sister...you're stuck...if it's someone who puts up with you when you are crappy...I'd rethink that too.
I think you do need to put boundaries on relationships that tend to be draining. I don't think you have to be over it altogether...you could say...when you speak negatively it leaves me feeling unhappy...and I don't want to feel that way. So please don't continually speak negatively. Communication: Key...and you never know...maybe they just don't know how to end the pessimistic cycle and need a friend to help keep them on the right path.
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