My family on my dads side is HUGE. Ever since I can remember we have drawn names amongst the "cousins" to exchange gifts. This was fabulous when I was young. Now all of us "cousins" are grown and we have kids of our own. I didn't mind the exchange when we lived near everyone and got to see them occasionally, but we don't see them anymore. Exchanging for us is a pain in the butt shipping and such. There have been so many babies born since we moved I can't even keep their names straight. This year someone thought they had my daughters name. She is in the 5th grade this year, she has read all the Harry Potter books, all the Eragon books, and all the Unfortunate events books. This person sent her the story of Charlottes Web for a beginning reader. COME ON! This person doesn't even know my kid! She has never spoken a word to me! She didn't take the time to call and see what my daughter was into! That makes me mad. Wanna know why?
It's happened to me too! We had to exchange with my Grandpa's sisters family for a big ole Party in Denver each year. These are people I don't even pretend to know well. One of them drew my name and sent me a movie. It was a sing along with bible songs tape. It featured a guy dressed in a big bible suit frolicking through a park with children in tow. It had the words at the bottom of the screen so I could sing along. Thoughtful? Not when you consider I was SIXTEEN! Do you know how ripped off I felt! All my cousins are rollin' in cool gifts and I got a tape that was intended for a 3 year old! It's not the thought that counts when you don't put any thought into it at all!
WHEW! I feel better now.
12 comments:
I've never lived near my dad's side of the family, but they always included us in the name drawing, and so they would draw the names FOR us and tell us who we got... and we always (ALWAYS!) got the names of the family members no one knew - the step kids to so-and-so's new wife, or the daughter-in-law of such-and-such's new step mother. It was weird, and we never knew a thing about anyone, so we told them to stop putting our names in because we don't even want to partcipate. They stopped for a while, and then just put us back in one year and was all, "You're buying for so and so and so and so," and my dad was like, "No, I'm not. And tell whoever has me to throw my name out." They weren't happy with us, but it was ridiculous to buy stuff for people you don't even know.
When I was fifteen my grandma gave me a childish book, but when I turned 16 she gave me a trashy novel. I got a weird flashlight thing for our exchange.
eww that's horrible. Why even add the names of the family members that don't see one another. Okay, I guess it's nice of them not to "exclude" anyone but puleese! That sucks. I can't believe the cousin didn't even call or email to find out what your daughter likes before she bought the book. Oh well. Lesson learned. Those are what we call "regifter" gifts! Wrap it up for next year's Toys for Tots or better yet, I'm sure there are tons of charities in your area that need that kind of thing!
Sounds like your family needs to start a news letter. It could go thru snail mail or email. You could do it monthly. Someone in the family, who wouldn't mind handling the task, could do it. There are several ways to do it. One way to do it would be that each family send in a newsletter to the "head person" and they could attach them all to an email and send them back out to the whole group. That way, when events come around, like Christams, people would have better knowledge of the person they are buying for. You could give it a try...
Other option is to ask to be removed from the list...
I'd drop out of the gift exchange. Who would notice..
I can never understand why people flinch from giving money as presents, maybe because giver is worried the recipient will think they've got no imagination. It couldn't be further from the truth - you can get exactly what you want with it, it's accepted in shops everywhere and everybody appreciates it.
i am so glad my family doesn't bother with that kind of stuff. Maybe you should suggest that when they do next years drawing that they include some info about the child- like schools do for disadvantaged kids. age, size, and interests can be filled out by the parents in advance, by snail mail or email, and then used for the drawing!
just my 2 cents. ttyl
Just spent a looooong time catching up on your blog---I really love it here.
I can understand a family trying to stay close despite an explosion in size and distance. There is always the possibility of donating to a charity in someone's name. There's a gift that always fits.
I hate OBLIGATION gifts...they are pointless & should be outlawed.
LOL. Just what you always wanted. My family does not do an gift exchange now I am glad. q
My family bys for everyone else, and we're always secretly asking others what one has mentioned they'd want for a gift..of course tho I did get things I asked for this year, I never got my telescope last year....grrr...still waiting..maybe I'll get it on my birthday! Well, heres hopin!
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