Again it's been a while. We went away on vacation at the end of June/beginning of July. It was lovely to see all our family.
I seem to be coming down from all the fuzzy feelings though. I spent the day feeling sad. Feeling like we are just drifting, waiting for other people to decide our future. Once again we are waiting for my husbands company to tell us where we will be living. We hear rumbles and whispers. Nothing has happened yet though. Going home just showed me that everyone else seems to have what I want. A place to put down roots.
I just want to be settled. I want to be part of a community, a church, and a neighborhood. I know, I know, I could do that here. I know that in my head. It's my heart that won't let me get to invested here. It broke my heart to leave my house and neighbors when we moved. I believed we'd be there for a long, long time. I let my guard down.
There is a possibility that we could stay here. That my husbands job will promote him here. He's not the only one up for it though. So I can't say it will happen for sure. I just hate indecision. I hate being up in the air. I hate waiting for others to decide our fate. I just want to be settled. Is that so much to ask?
2 comments:
I did not know that your were possibly facing another move. At least you had the foresight to rent rather than buy so you are fairly unencumbered if you do leave. Bless your heart. I know how much you just want to be settled.
I never thought I would settle. Dave wanted to be able to move with all his belongings in a backpack. I had moved 30 times by the time I was 30. I moved to this town as a stopgap for 10 months, and we've been here since 1974. You just never know....I wish you had your heart's desire though.
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