Slowly

The pills are helping mostly.  The dose the doc started me at was not sufficient to get me to sleep through the night.  It seems 2 pills does the job though.  I go to see the doc again next week.  We'll see what he has to say.  I'm hoping recent revelations will help my sleep.  I found out that my fathers second wife will likely be the sole beneficiary of my fathers estate.  I've feared this would be the case for years.  Their divorce was not finalized.  So she is technically still his wife.  She gets it all.  My dad would be so angry about this.  It's not what he would have wanted at all.  She didn't want to be his wife before he died but now that he's gone she wants makes sure to point out that BY LAW she was still married to him.  *SIGH*

I don't like it but strangely I seem to have found some peace.  There is no reason to fight now.  There is no impending battle to prepare for.  It is what it is.  My brother said she told him she'd make sure they'd get some of it.  Not sure if I'm included in that "THEY" or not.  I'm hoping she will do what's right but I'm not going to get my hopes up.  She has never liked me.  Never treated me as her own.  Why would she now? 

On the upside.  I know my father loved me.  I know he wanted me to be equal with my siblings.  To him we were not "half brothers and sisters".  I couldn't agree more.  My relationships with my siblings remains intact and strong.  I hope she can say the same when all the dust settles.